Dos and Don’ts in Public Swimming Pools

If you swim in a private swimming pool, please excuse yourself and refrain from reading the rest of this crap because truth be told, it’s not relevant to you.

This is for those who are not fortunate enough to have access to private swimming pool. If you are doing what is mentioned in don’ts list, please don’t do it in Senayan City Apartment pool. Why? Because I swim there. Please don’t make me sick.

Do’s:

1) Wear a nice and normal bathing suit (for guys: swimming pant)

Why? Because people can see underwater. And the least they want to see is your white brief hanging loosely, leaving little for imagination. I know you got balls (hehe) to wear it. It’s disgusting, you know? You probably have worn it for hours before you take it into the water. Ick!

2) Know how to swim

I think they should put a sign “NO NEWBIES ALLOWED. GET BACK HERE WHEN YOU”RE READY” in every public swimming pool. Why? No use to put yourself in danger in the presence of strangers. Chances are you will learn more effectively if you learn somewhere quiet. Try your friend’s private swimming pool. Or Sunter Lake, perhaps?

3) Swim

It’s annoying to see those who just stand against the wall in the pool and chat. Or make out(!). Can’t you do it up there? Dry and all? It would be more interesting to see you skinny dipping πŸ˜‰

4) Wear goggles

Don’t hurt your eyes. It’s a public swimming pool. They don’t fill it with gazillions gallons of Evian. Trust me. Even if you are wearing contacts, there is a strong chance one or two of them will pop out and join the H2O.

Don’ts:

1) Wear a tube top

I wore it once and it turned out it slipped easily as I moved underwater. One should not be in a position to choose between one thing they like to do (and come to do) -swim- and another thing they secretly like to do -flaunt certain body parts riskily. And it’s not fun, swimming with your one hand holding your top. Making you look like a single-handed kodok.

2) Take other’s lane who came before you or swim the width of the pool

Why? It’s impolite. Everybody wants to swim in the inner side of the pool, I know. But the one who gets there first, deserves it. Wait until they finish and you can take their lane. And.. swimming the width of the pool… what are you? A third grader? It interrupts others’ perfect swimming laps. And, it makes you look stupid.

3) Take pictures while you’re in the pool

I saw two guys (or gay) one afternoon. They didn’t swim. One of them was in the pool and another was at the side, taking pictures of the first guy. The first guy is certainly a narcissist, showing off his muscles in an awfully provocative manner with that ‘senyum mesum’ on his face. Look, I have nothing against homosexuals. But please do it somewhere else? Especially not in my lane!

4) Socialize

I got it like once or twice so far. When I was taking a short break, a guy next to me asked me my name and introduced himself. Have you heard, swimming pool is the new coffee shop? I haven’t. Nobody has. Don’t start the hype. PLEASE!

5) Pee

It’s been said a lot and yet people do it πŸ˜€ I know how much we love the sensation (I did it when I was a kid) of feeling the warmth coming out of us but for hygienic purpose, please don’t do it. You or others can get UTI, for starters. Or diarrhea if someone accidentally drinks it (it happens even to the best of us πŸ˜› ). Well, you can fart πŸ˜€ Hell yeah I do it often πŸ˜› Making bubbles heehee…

Have more things to add to the list? Please feel free to do so πŸ™‚

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sarah Budiyani
    Jul 17, 2010 @ 00:01:09

    ROFL :))) hey, mbak fenfen! suddenly thinking to visit ur bloog and this post is sooo damn hilarious! thanks for making my nite! πŸ˜‰

    Reply

  2. tae ako
    Jan 04, 2012 @ 16:44:03

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    Reply

  3. Precious dandy
    Dec 21, 2012 @ 04:04:53

    Seriously luving this post…

    Reply

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