Just finished watching ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’, a movie based on a novel (which I have been nowhere near -luckily) starring Scarlett Johansson, Jen Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Ben Afleck, Morgan Lily and others. If you’re looking for self-assurance on what you have been doing dating-wise this is a perfect flick for you. Yes it is a chick flick 😀 So for guys with no sense of bravado and a guilty love for drama this too will work for you. I asked my dearest guy friend and he’s not even interested in watching it. I was relieved to hear his response although he did pay for this DVD yesterday. I really don’t need a drag king right now, even more because I like this guy a lot 😉
So this movie begins with a scene of a young girl played with her sand castle when a boy came right in and told to her face that she reminded him of dog poo. The little girl cried and in an attempt to console her, her mom told her the biggest and legendary lie ever existed since the world’s creation: every time a man treats you like crap, it’s because he likes you! Apparently girls buy this crap and feed on the agony it creates. So we have Gigi, who’s simply obsessed with a perfect dating scene and the aftermath: the sacred call from her date. Unlucky for her (which very much reminds me of myself) her perfect dates seem to end up in a round-about way. ‘Nice meeting you’ -> translation: You will never hear from me.
There are lots of other characters of course, each brings his/her own tragic misunderstanding and expectations towards love. There’s Anna who is torn apart between a sexy married guy (a.k.a the douche bag), Ben and her straightforward, no-sparks standby, Conor. Oh and by the way Conor is one of the guys who didn’t call Gigi after their date. Ben is the husband of Janine, Gigi’s colleague and confidante. There’s also Mary, an ad sales who is surrounding by good looking and supportive men who are unfortunately gay 😛 Mary has problem finding a date in a real world and she turns to online sites (which also reminds me of myself who fell for 3 guys I chatted with). Oh and how can I forget Beth (played by Jen Aniston) and Neil who have a steady 7-year-old-committed-unmarried life. The last straw comes when Beth’s baby sister is getting married. Beth starts to get anxious, blackmails Neil to marry her and ends up breaking up with him.
Trust me, it’s not that complicated when you watch the movie yourself! I’m not gonna be a rotten spoiler I usually am (haha!) and will not tell you the ending. I will, however, give you several quotes from the movie which I played countless times in my head 😀
Gigi: We are all programmed to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk that means he likes you.
Alex: So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. No exceptions.
Mary: I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. (touche! Thank God my dearest guy friend doesn’t have account in any of the social networking sites. We can simply talk on the phone, chat and hold hands when we meet. Classic 😛 )
Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.
Alex: Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?
Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You’ve think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don’t fall in love that way either. You have not won. You’re alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I’m still a lot closer to love than you are. (no comment on this. I believe that hen you meet the right guy, everything should feel easy. You don’t have to worry if you should call him or wait for his calls. None of it matters. Sometimes he calls first, other times you leave simple cute messages on his mobile. You don’t have to go extra mile just to know if he feels the same.)
Gigi: Sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. how to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. maybe the happy ending is just moving on. or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the unreturned phone calls and broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment… you never gave up hope. (hope to simply wake up one day, smile at the reflection of yourself in the mirror and not wondering if you’re worth-loving)
My personal advice is don’t give him any presents if you’re not sure he likes you. Save all the drama okay? Picking gifts can be emotionally exhausting, thinking ‘Does he like it?’, ‘Does he prefer that to this?’, ‘What kind of guy he is?’ and then the card-writing part. Then the crucial part when you give him the gift. D’ooohhhhh… it’s just too much! And when things don’t quite work out for you two, you will be traumatized by the whole experience. It leaves you a big scar. Just like a friend of mine who admitted that she is too tired to make the moves now with someone new, after years of failed attempts to win someone’s heart. And of course me, who acted cool and non-chalant until finally I couldn’t take it anymore. It hurts, giving something (along with your heart) to someone only to witness it be shattered into pieces. Rose Kennedy once said “It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone.”
Anyhoo, I gave my dearest guy friend a strawberry cheese cake instead of a birthday present. Afterall I thought to myself, if he doesn’t like it I can eat it myself (which luckily was not the case) 😉