Can Women Have It All?

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This topic was discussed on Oprah last week or so. Had you watched it, you would know what I was going to talk about. First of all, there is a familiarity when I heard it. I mean this has been popped out a lot in every girlfriends’ talk. For those of you, so-called working mums you know exactly how hard it is to juggle motherhood and career. There must be mornings when you were about to burst into tears when your son told you he had not done his homework and at the same time your boss called you to remind you about an important meeting you could not be coming late to. Yes, domestic crises and professional dilemmas can break out any time. You would feel like you were punished for not loving your children enough. You would wish your boss or your colleagues show a little sympathy –or much better-understanding that you NEED to leave earlier for your daughter’s ballet class.

 

Nonetheless, do you actually think that stay-at-home mums are perfectly happy? Reflecting upon my own mum’s experience, I seriously doubt it. Being a melancholic typed of person, she is very composed and organized. She was the brightest student in her class but my grandpa would not let her go to college because of her gender role. It was 1975, what can you expect? Then she dedicated her brilliance to help building her family’s business and of course, domestic work. She cooked, sewed, cleaned the housed and washed the clothes, all done manually in a very effective manner. Until now, as her daughter I failed to, at least, have half of her prowess. It may be because she is much of a perfectionist that she would not let me mess up her kitchen or her effective-already method of ironing. Yet I know the truth. She was not enthusiastic to share her domestic skill because she thought it was a total waste of talent. She would murmur in her famed pout ‘Am I making any money by cleaning this house or ironing your shirts? Nope.’

Yep, she is never proud of her excellent career as a housewife.

 

She is the reason I studied so hard to ensure a college degree, and afterwards a promising career. Looking back, I don’t think I would make it without her constant support and 24-hour loving presence. The tickling question is what would I have turned out to be if my mum had been a working mum? With no mum to cook my favorite lunch or pick me up from afternoon class? Would I be less of a studious girl and more of attention-seeking person? Maybe I would have my first date at the age of 16, instead of 22! Or maybe I would have failed in Ebtanas because I was crying all night, broken-hearted. I don’t know but deep down I am sure that I would not be the same person I am now had I been raised by a working mum.

 

Life is a big joke, isn’t it? What would my mum say if I told her someday I want to quit my job and stay at home for my children? Hahaha…I cannot imagine her response. In fact, she often jokes that when I get married and produce grand children for her, she would not mind to babysit my children for me while I am at work. Well, that day is still only in my wildest dream. I don’t have any plans of getting married before I turn 27. Meanwhile, let me think of my options!

 

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